Who I Am and Why I Write

  WHO I AM

I WRITE BECAUSE IT’ THE POWERFUL TOOL TO VET THE EMOTIONAL UPHEAVALS.

MY JOURNAL BEGAN WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, MY HIDING PLACE, FOR PRAYERS FOR MY HUSBAND, AND GUIDANCE FOR MYSELF. WRITING BECAME MORE THAN THAT. MY DEAR FRIEND READ OF MY UPS AND DOWNS, LISTENED WHEN I CRIED OUT AGAINST BLACK WAVES OF DARKNESS MYSELF BEYOND COPING I BECAME EASY PREY TO DARKNESS, HE SHOWED UP WITH A LIFE LINE COMMITTING TO HONOR YOU MUST BE BRAVE NEEDED ALL THE ARTILLERY I COULD MUSTER BECAUSE CANCER ASSAULTING MY HUSBAND BROKE MY HEART AND TESTED MY COURAGE.

I WRITE BECAUSE MY DEAR FRIEND, BETTER KNOWN AS THE HOLY SPIRIT, SPOKE SOFTLY WITH WORDS OF COMFORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, AND EXACTLY THE HELP WHEN I NEEDED IT MOST. HE WAS THE FEET ON THE GROUND WITH ME, WHO GUIDED AND GUARDED MY VULNERABLE EMOTIONS. I WRITE BECAUSE HE WAS AS GOOD AS HIS WORD TO BE MY ARMOR AGAINST ATTACKS OF DESPAIR THAT TRIED TO BRING ME DOWN. HIS PRESENCE NEVER LEFT ME DURING THE THREE-YEAR CANCER JOURNEY WITH MY HUSBAND.

I WRITE TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS WHO CARE FOR AND JOURNEY WITH A SPOUSE WHO HAS CANCER AND FACES THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF EMOTIONS AND HOLDING ON HITS.

I WRITE TO SHOW THAT GOD IS THE PERFECT GO-TO PERSON WHEN THINKING POSITIVELY RUNS OUT AND YOUR HEART IS BREA

I WRITE TO TESTIFY TO MY HUSBAND’S NEVER QUITTING COURAGE AND FAITH WHEN ESOPHAGEAL CANCER ASSAULTED AND TESTED THE MARROW OF HIS PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND WILL TO LIVE. I WRITE BECAUSE OUR THIRTY-YEAR LOVE AFFAIR GREW IN POWER.

SO, I THINK OF YOU THROUGH YOUR JOURNEY AS YOU CARE FOR YOUR SPOUSE WHO HAS CANCER. I OFFER WORDS I USED OFTEN TO HELP ME COPE – FROM PSALM 121.

“I LOOK TO THE MOUNTAIN – WHERE WILL MY HELP COME FROM? MY HELP CAN COME FROM THE LORD WHO MADE THE MOUNTAINS. HE WILL NOT LET YOUR FOOT SLIP, BECAUSE HE WHO WATCHES OVER YOU WILL NOT SLEEP, SND WATCHE OVER YOUR COMING AND GOING.”

NIV BIBLE